Thursday, May 23, 2013

Keeping It Real {Our Family Life}

I have to keep it real.

There are days I absolutely just want to give up. Run away. Get in the car and drive until I can drive no more.

Not because I hate my life. Or I don't love my husband. It's not that I dislike my kiddos. It's just that life gets really hard sometimes. There are days I go to bed and pray that God just give me the strength to get through another day.

We have four kids (ages 14, 16, 18 and 20). That in itself is a challenge. I own and run a business (that takes up a lot of time). We have activities that keep us away from home almost every night. We are out of town most every weekend with select baseball. The list goes on and on.

I'm not writing this as an attempt to whine. On the contrary. I write it because I get so sick and tired of seeing everyone around me (online and in real life) that act like they have the perfect life. I hate looking from the outside in on other families and saying to myself, "why are we not like that?" That Mom who posts on Facebook, "the first day of summer is my favorite because I get to spend every day with my kids." When all I can think is, "holy hell, how are we going to make it through summer?"

Am I missing something? Am I the only person in the world who doesn't want my kids glued to my side every second of the day? Sometimes my husband drives me crazy. There are days I just want to pull the covers up over my head and stay in bed. I'm far from perfect - but why does that have to make me feel like a bad person/Mom/Wife?

One of the main reasons I stopped blogging regularly and got out of the whole 'blogging scene' is because it truly made me start to feel bad about myself. I got so burnt out on looking at all these picture perfect lives and outfits and businesses - and then constantly comparing myself to them. So, I just took myself out of it.

I would like to think that our life is normal. We have fantastic days, good days and horrible days. There are days when we all get along and there are days we are all ready to rip each others hair out. We have good grades and we have failing grades. We make good decisions and we make poor decisions. But at the end of the day, we love each other - no matter what.

Life is not always unicorns and butterflies. More days than not, we have conflict, drama and some sort of issue. And I'm okay with saying that. This is who we are - and that's keeping it real.

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