Tuesday, June 21, 2011

4 kids+3 Dogs+2 Exhausted Adults...


Whew - sometimes I don't know how we do it all! I woke up this morning and thought 'wow, I've been MIA for a few days.' So, I need to update everyone on where I have been! As most of you know, my wonderful boyfriend has 4 beautiful kiddos. This weekend was Father's Day - so we had a weekend chocked full of activities! I took the girls shopping Friday after I got off work and we bought their Dad some goodies. And then we had a girls only dinner. They never cease to entertain, shock and crack me up (normally all at the same time)! I do love the trust that we have built thus far and they feel comfortable enough to talk to me about most anything (all the stuff that their Dad would rather die than hear).


Saturday the whole crew came to my house. The boys mowed the yard for me (amazingly, the youngest one just absolutely loves to mow) and then we went and spent some time at my parents in the pool! The kids love to swim and my mom has gone a little overboard on the pool toys now - so they have lots to do! We then cooked out on the grill and sat down to a nice family dinner - David opened his gifts - the boys rode bikes around the neighborhood and then we all settled down to watch a little Willie Wonka (the original of course)! At about 3 a.m. I heard my bedroom door creak open and the youngest one padded in to climb into bed with his father and me. That was a first for me! Me and 2 boys and 2 dogs (good thing I have an over sized King bed)! The next morning I woke up first, of course. It was about 6 a.m. and I couldn't really DO anything - I had kids and dogs scattered all over the house! So after sneaking outside to swing for a while and enjoy my morning - I crawled back into bed with my boys.


This was our first experiment with extended stay and everyone under the same roof. All in all, it didn't go horrible. I still a lot of times feel like a fish out of water. Having no kids of my own, doing the whole 'kid' thing takes some getting used to. Then, there's that pesky detail that they aren't mine. And finding that comfort zone. We have good days and we have typical kiddo/teenager days. Yeah, maybe that makes it a little tough too. I'm coming into their life when it's not a fun time for any parent's with kids! We have days where it's all fun and then we have days where we are sulky and pouty and all around just hard to deal with. I have a hard time not taking those days/times/moments personal - because I really want to be the best at this I can be! I may never get a shot at having my own kids - so I want to be the best person I can be to these four.

 

Please don't misunderstand me here - they have a Mom (though she is not currently in their life) and I in no way am under the impression I will ever be their Mom, nor is that something I would want. What I do want is to be the best role model to them I can be. To show them what a loving, healthy relationship looks like. To spoil them a little - help mold them into smart, caring, considerate, mature adults. Show them a little bit of the world they may not have seen otherwise. And be someone they can trust and turn to - no matter what! I know that doesn't happen overnight - and I know slow and steady wins the race. I have trying days and I have days of pure triumph. I never have a day of doubt though - and that's how I know I'm in the right place.

Is anyone else out there a 'step-parent' of sorts? I'm always looking for advice (or someone to vent to)!

Lots of Love...

~Manda Jane~

2 comments:

  1. There are no rules for today's blended families, each situation is unique and you will have to figure out what works for all of you, not just what works for the kids. You have a great attitude about it which I admire and could use more of myself. Hang in there if you feel it is right.

    The hardest part, for me, is not having kids of my own and therefore not having a voice. Only time will tell if I will really regret the decision to not have children of my own and I have to re-commit to my decision every once in a while. Don't be hard on yourself if it doesn't fall together instantly you are already years ahead of me in terms of progress. Love you!

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  2. Relax! Enjoy their sense of humor and don't try too hard to be cool. They, and you will figure it out! You are in a great place! Teenagers are some amazing people!
    P.S. I love these little views into your life! They are too fun! Keep up the good work!

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