Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Another Turn In the Road

I blog about our family a lot. I guess it's what I'm an 'expert' in these days. And I know that so many of you have families and kids and enjoy and deal with all the adventures that go along with it.

I'm a step-mom to 4 amazing little people. But, that being said, I am just that – their step-mom. Which means that they do have a biological mom that they spent the majority of their life with. What makes my situation a little different is that we have the kids full time – where in most divorced parents cases, it seems to be the other way around. What is also unique to our situation is that their mom hasn't been in the picture for the last 2 years.

I won't go into much detail on the past or why things have ended up as they are. What is weighing on me heavily this week is how to make the transition into their mom being back in the picture now. For the time I've known them and had them, we have been one happy (and sometimes unhappy) family. I have been spoiled with having them all the time and being the final authority, along with their Dad, on situations regarding their life. I have been (with their Dad) their biggest cheerleader, comforter and supporter.

 I haven't had the pleasure of dealing with 'baby mama drama' and the likes.

With all that being said, the tide has turned and we are forging down another new path. The kids mom is presently making an effort to be in the kids life. To this I say, 'wonderful' – because I've never claimed to be their mother. I've always said I would be the very best person and role model I could be for them and love with with every ounce of me. But with this new turn brings even more new territory that I have no experience in and have no idea how to handle. That's where I need you.

In my head, the perfect scenario would be one where we could all co-parent together. I could have her over to the house and we could discuss the kids and solve any issues as a team. Maybe we could sip some lemonade and talk about the upcoming schedules and holidays.

However, this is not a perfect world and this won't be our situation.

My thoughts and feeling currently are that for the time being, I probably need to stay well removed from the situation. That is, until everyone gets more comfortable with their mom being back in the picture and we see where this will lead. The kids will legally reside with us until they are 18, but can see their mom at David's discretion. I feel like until we see how all this plays out – my best bet is to continue to do what I have done and not get too involved in this new situation. To let David handle it and be a support system for him and the kids – but let that be my only role.

Any other step-parents out there? What is the family dynamic? How do you handle keeping everyone happy and a smooth running household? Or, maybe your kiddos have a step-parent – and how do you deal with that and what kind of relationship have you built?

As always, I love your suggestions and input. These things are all so new to me and sometimes I might have my 'blinders' on and not see the big picture!

My BFF Angie sent me this article on step-parents today and I loved it... if you have a minute, take a looksie HERE.

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Lots of Love...

1 comment:

  1. Wish I could give you some wise advice, but I know absolutely nothing about being a parent or step-parent...personally. I can't even help you froma child's perspective. I am one of the few lucky gals that has parents that are still married...after almost 43 years! Good luck with this whole transition.

    The only thing I can say is...be there for the kids. It could be just as rough on them as it is you. You seem to be head over heels for them, & they could probably use reminders often.