Friday, May 22, 2015

Tough Love Boot Camp

So, lets talk about me for a moment, shall we? I am 100% Type A personality. I am a straight up, no question about it, self confessed control freak. And if I ever start to forget, my husband so politely reminds me about 100 times a week.

So what does that mean? I thrive on structure, order and schedules. I am a chronic list maker. I plan everything. I'm always early. I absolutely loathe surprises or anything thrown at me at the last minute. I need to be in the know on everything that goes on in our house and I normally flip if my husband tells the kids they can do something and doesn't tell me. I'm telling ya'll - I'm basically straight up cray cray.

So, when I found out that our daughter was 25 weeks pregnant (and didn't hear it from her, by the way), instead of panicking I started preparing. I just went into straight planner mode. I called the doctor. I got her insurance sorted out. I started buying furniture to convert her room into a nursery. I picked up her prescriptions. I reminded her to take her vitamins.

Are you starting to see a pattern here? And all the time I was doing all of this, this is what 'ol Preggo was doing most of the time.

It only took me a few weeks to become basically enraged because I was doing everything and she was doing nothing. I think my favorite thing to say during that time was - your pregnant, not paralyzed. But as some of my lovely friends pointed out, 'why would she, you're doing everything for her.' 

Which brings me to Tough Love Boot Camp. You see guys, I am not going to be raising this baby. My hubby and I said it from the beginning and we have made it quite clear that she is going to be responsible for this new life and we will be here to provide help and support. But I was crippling her. And I saw myself going down a very slippery slope if things didn't change and I didn't force her to start doing all the things that needed to be done... On. Her. Own.

So, I've started to (try to) cut the cord. I made her go to her last doctors visit on her own (with her boyfriend) and take care of all the insurance stuff. When she text and asked 'have you picked up my prescription yet' I politely replied, 'no, because it's not my prescription.' She has picked up extra hours at work. She is now responsible for cooking dinner several nights a week. It's baby steps. But I know that if I don't show some tough love, she is never going to learn and be able to grown into a responsible and mature Mom. So, I'm trying.

It is soooo not easy! Sometimes it kills me. And sometimes I think she gets a little pissed off at me. But as my dear Mom said, 'you play, you pay.' I'm not going to let her fail. But I'm going to ensure that she can stand on her own two feet and be a successful woman and Mom. And the only way to do that is with a little tough love boot camp!

P.S. I do have to admit that when she text me today and asked me to bring her Ravioli to school for lunch - I did it! I mean, c'mon, she is still MY baby!!

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