When I used to blog all the time (like 4 to 5 days a week), I always randomly did a '5 Things I've Learned.' I'm trying to get back in the swing of blogging. I love to write. Always have. Have I ever mentioned I placed 3rd in State UIL for writing. Yep, that's right, be envious. But why I really love to write is that I love to share. And chronicle this journey I've been on for the last two years. And hopefully, every once in a while, hit on a topic that someone else is facing/dealing with. And let them know they aren't alone. So, I'm going to do 5 of those in one today. Ready?
1. Being married doesn't feel any different than not being married - Maybe this wasn't the case for you, but it was for David and me. Don't get me wrong, I love being married. But nothing changed. We still have four kids. We still have a mortgage. We still have no time what so ever for ourselves. Life is stressful and challenging. The difference is I get to do it with a new last name. And say I have a 'husband' - which is pretty cool. But honestly, there was no 'honeymoon period' for us. We went on a honeymoon, came home and life went right back to normal. No magical movie first year for us.
2. Sometimes you just have to let them go - I don't know who it is for you, but for us it's our oldest child. 18 and just graduated from high school - ready to take on the world and giving us nothing but grief (lots and lots and lots of grief) in the process. We finally had to give an ultimatum - and she moved out. Mind you, we gave more chances than Dr. Phil would probably advise! But we knew that there is a point when you just have to let go and let them figure it out on their own. It wasn't easy. And we have no idea how it will play out in the future. But currently she has chose to not be a part of our family and as much as it breaks hearts, it was a hard decision that had to be made.
3. Parents who monitor their children's social media are in the minority - Maybe you're a parent who is not to this point yet. However, I have ages 12, 14 and 16 at home. I'm one of those crazy moms. I monitor everything. If I see someone use a cuss word on one of the kids pages, I'm that lady who gets on and comments, "this is David's step-mom. Could you please refrain from cursing on his page because I don't appreciate it.' Yes, this mortifies my kids. But this is what I really want to say, 'hey you trashy little 14 year old girl - where are your parents and why do you think it's attractive to talk like that?' Yes, it's the girls - more and more - with filthy, filthy mouths. In 7th grade we were dealing with girls sending 'naked' pictures to our son. Instagram is full of kids drinking, flipping off the camera, showing off body parts that should be covered. Where are their parents??!! Please, I beg of you - be a crazy Mom like me. These kids have no idea how this could negatively affect them in the future.
4. My family is average - Sitting in our youth pastor's office the other night, verbal vomit spilled from my mouth. The 18 year old moving out. Issues with the 16 year old dealing with grief. My mouthy, disrespectful 12 year old. He was getting all our dirty laundry. I then looked at him and said, 'I know, we are a hot mess.' And you know how he replied, 'you sound like the average family to me.' What? Really? You don't know how good that made me feel! You mean, what we are dealing with is normal? Sometimes we feel so alone in our struggles and battles. I look around and everyone else's life seems so 'perfect.' It was a huge weight lifted to know that we aren't alone.
5. I suck at teaching Sunday School - My husband and I started up and started teaching Jr High Sunday School several months ago. It was my idea. Something that I felt had been placed on my heart. And I just drug David along. Ends up, our entire class is male. And I suck at teaching them. David is so much better at it. And I never give anyone credit for doing something better than me. That's the control freak in me. But he is so good with that group of boys. And that makes me so proud of him. So, I'm his trusty sidekick and he's our fearless leader. And we make a pretty awesome team.
What have you learned lately?